jon hamm is human junk food
It all started back in June of 2016, in the bathroom of my apartment in Boston. At this point, I had been suffering from a severe case of unrequited infatuation for not weeks, not months, but years.
For a good part of my twenties, I’d been running in a hamster wheel of adoration for a boy I barely knew, despite the facts that A) we lived time zones away from each other B) we were both in other relationships, and, because it bears repeating, C) we barely knew each other. But there was something that kept drawing me to him like junk food. Something that made my palms sweat when he liked my Facebook posts. Something that made me hope I’d bump into him soon. Something that made me forget, if but for a moment, that I had a boyfriend. And the more I tried to push it away and reinvest myself into my existing relationship, the more I wanted to escape to my mind’s idea of him.
I didn’t know why I was stuck on this boy until I was watching my morning staple, the TODAY Show and saw him. There he was, in all his handsome glory, my number one celebrity crush, Jon Hamm. It hit me like the school bus at the end of Mean Girls...I couldn’t get over this boy for the simple reason that he was extremely, extremely SUPER DUPER HOT and bore a striking resemblance to Jon Hamm*. At last! I had found the cause of my obsession and it was pretty valid…I was completely and totally in lust. So, I took my new insight and wrote a song about it.
*please enjoy this slideshow I am unashamed to have compiled
It was never my plan to share it with anyone. Partially because I didn’t want to explain it to my boyfriend at the time, and partially because I was concerned that it was too shallow. Too rife with vanity. That, even though this song was an incredible and expressive catharsis for me, the world needed deep, soul-crushing, life-changing songs...not odes to the human junk food that had been tearing my conscience apart. But the unglamorous truth is that I was somewhat forced to share it. While preparing for a gig a few days later, I realized I needed more songs to fill the 2 hour long set. So, I trepidatiously played “Jon Hamm” for my band...and I was totally shocked when they loved it.
Since then, my band and I have played the song about a million different ways. It has been really fast, and far too slow. It’s changed keys and been relieved of its post-choruses. At one point, it was almost a folk-pop song…that was a short-lived iteration. Now, over a year later, my awesome band, producers, and I have created the most beautiful life for this song and I couldn’t be more proud of how it is turning out. Unfortunately, the vocal range is still an octave and a half and every time I sing it I hate myself for writing it that way. But for that, we have autotune and the concept of forgiveness!